ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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