it wasn't lemon gatorade
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
