My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
