so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
