oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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