I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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