Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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