Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
