Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this boner is exhausting
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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