dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
