I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
