What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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