Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His hands were made for my vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
