I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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