My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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