we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
