why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
