you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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