youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
