That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
