Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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