so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
