He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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