Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
