Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
