Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
