Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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