they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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