After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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