I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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