wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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