I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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