butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
