8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
