Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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