You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize