idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
