I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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