I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
