What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
