Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize