I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
