I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
