My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
