why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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