I can tuck mytits in my pants
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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