he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
