wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
