This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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