question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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