I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
