Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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