Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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