Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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