Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Sorry about my life...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
