ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
