Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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