Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am mentally ready for anal.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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