You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so let's talk penis.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
