She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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