You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
