planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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