I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this will be a night to untag.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
