You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Barsexuality is the new black.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We have started to decorate penises.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize