I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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