Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
