In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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