better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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