Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
