what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
