yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
