I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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