Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
